John Law’s review of Jessica Simpson’s performance at the Avalon Ballroom in Ontario,Canada on Wednesday:

“Simpson needs to explain in exhausting detail what every single song is about, and the endless banter kills any momentum. She’s still living in a reality show, convinced everyone is so fascinated with her personal life, they’d rather hear her talk than sing.”

He went on to describe how Jessica said she was pregnant with an alien and that she also had a message from God about one of her songs. She talked about Tony Romo and slammed Nick Lachey for being a “cheater.”

Jessica even admitted she has a farting problem:

“I do pass gas a lot. I guarantee it smells like roses.”

What is wrong with her? The girl’s gone country.  She farts, she burps, she drinks beer, she talks way too much, and she seems to enjoy wearing gingham way too much.  Every time I see a picture of her rocking gingham fashion it makes me think that she has taken another tablecloth out of her linen closet and sewn herself a new outfit.  Yee haw!

Jessica Simpson is dying for the country community to love her. So now she is strutting around with a cowboy hat all the time. Here she is sliding into a pool, with a cowboyhat, giving some sort of strange face. The picture isn’t stellar quality but it is good enough for me! BTW her bathing suit looks like a bra!

She thinks she is smart, because she drink smart?

Sitting on top of bales of hay hawking a new beer doesn’t make country girl Jessica look intelligent. It makes her looks somewhat like an actress doing a promo ad for a porno with those pouting lips, peek a boo top and sleepy lidded come hither look she has going on. I just don’t know how anyone would care that Jessica thinks drinking beer is a smart choice!

The ads reads:

“I work out and take care of myself. But I also like a cold beer once in a while. That’s why I made the smart choice with a smart beer. Stampede Light, it’s beer plus.”

I wonder how successful this ad campaign will be? The plus is that it contains vitamins.   Will her fans be stampeding to buy?  No doubt she’s hoping they do as she has a 15% stake in it.

I’m not so sure this is a such a great career move for her as she’s always been such a good girl but what the heck do I know nor do I really care.

Jessica Simpson’s new country album cover is out. The name of the Album is ‘Do You Know’. She looks decent in the shot, although it is probably photoshopped to sh*t. She has a nice white dress on, with some brown cowboy boots to give her that country girl look. I wonder how well her album will do… considering the scathing reviews that are out for her current single.

Isn’t this the sweetest picture? Not sure why she was striking a pose with this furry creature, but she sure looks as if she is in a happy mood! I wonder where her bf Tony Roma is?

Jessica Simpson was spotted out and about New York doing some apartment shopping.

A swarm of paparazzi pushed and shoved each other trying to get the best shot as she checked out condos in the 2-12 million dollar range all around the island of Manhattan.

She was overheard saying: “This is no way to look for an apartment.”

Despite all the attention from crazed photographers, the still single Ms. Simpson bravely shopped on, even putting on a hard hat to see one building which was in the process of being built.

I wonder why she’s thinking of buying a place in New York? That is a long way from her family.

I guess Jessica Simpson is back out on the prowl, she is looking super hot in this white mini dress. I wonder how this girl slims down so fast. There have been reports she has had liposuction, but I find that hard to believe. I think she probably just starves herself like all the other celebrities out there. The real question is though how does she keep her rack in tact?!

Either way if my body could like Jessica Simpson’s I would be the happiest girl around town! Now if only she could find a nice boyfriend, and settle down, because that is what she really needs. I still can’t believe she even dated that a** John Mayer.

Jessica looks amazing in her new ad for her fall 2007 line. Check out this picture.